Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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