The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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