Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize