Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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