I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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