i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
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It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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