If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
how drunk are you?
Several
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize