I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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