I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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