I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
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I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
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If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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