we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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