I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I love having hate sex.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize