I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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