The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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