I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
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He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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