Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize