Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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