Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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