I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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