So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize