butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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