needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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