Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize