the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I currently don't understand fingers.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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