why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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