how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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