I got chris browned last night
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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