I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
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My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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