Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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