Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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