Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

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  (302): dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience http://tfl.nu/d1lz
  Replies (49) Good night (533) Bad night (6121) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

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  (702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1
  Replies (16) Good night (6997) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail

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  (267): Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail http://tfl.nu/spjw
  Replies (9) Good night (4927) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

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  (562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy
  Replies (38) Good night (2361) Bad night (7572) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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  (219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj
  Replies (24) Good night (5640) Bad night (2256) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  two words...techno handjob

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  (818): two words...techno handjob http://tfl.nu/l83l
  Replies (31) Good night (4416) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it

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  (201): I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it http://tfl.nu/a65q
  Replies (16) Good night (3774) Bad night (872)
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  (619): View more from California

  He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.

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  (619): He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/6dyk
  Replies (9) Good night (3149) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.

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  (773): I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her. http://tfl.nu/gidh
  Replies (5) Good night (709) Bad night (1661) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....

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  (267): I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa.... http://tfl.nu/2i55
  Replies (6) Good night (2356) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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  (207): Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I? (1-207): I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me. http://tfl.nu/4usu
  Replies (5) Good night (2625) Bad night (693)
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  (916): View more from California

  But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.

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  (916): But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening. http://tfl.nu/sf5x
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (1396) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"

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  (614): And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice" http://tfl.nu/xdkd
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.

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  (309): I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game. http://tfl.nu/d55q
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing

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  (570): Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing http://tfl.nu/4996
  Replies (5) Good night (228) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt

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