My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize