you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I want her autograph on my taint
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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