stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
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I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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