At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize