my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize