I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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