Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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