shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize