thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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