Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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