Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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