I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
false alarm, still single
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