I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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