Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
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A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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