Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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