I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I smell stomach acid.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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