Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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