I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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