careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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