well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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